“You fool. No man can kill me.”
How many times am I allowed to reblog this before it gets weird?
Fun facts: Tolkien constructed this scene because he came out of Macbeth thinking that Shakespeare had missed a golden opportunity with the ”Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth” prophecy
Being letdown by Macbeth is apparently a significant factor in Tolkien’s writing because the Ent/Huorn attack on Isengard was the result of his disappointment that the whole “til Birnam Wood come to Dunsinane” thing was just some dudes holding sticks and not actual ambulatory trees.
so he basically took his favorite shakespeare headcanons and put them into his AU fic
This revelation just knocked me over.
LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN. BACK THE FUCK UP SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU’RE FUCKING JON SNOW HERE. LET ME TELL U A THING
JONNY T WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST FANBOY TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. LITERALLY THIS FUCKIN NERD WENT INTO WORLD WAR ONE AND WROTE NORSEFIC EDDA FANFIC IN THE TRENCHES AND SENT IT TO ALL HIS FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESUMABLY LIKE “JOHN WHAT THE FUCK”
BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE
HIS WIFE? MADE HER AND HIMSELF INTO SELF-INSERT OCS IN SAID FIC. ALSO MADE HIMSELF A TOTAL TYR SELF INSERT CHARACTER. ALL VERY DRAMATIC. KEPT WRITING THIS FIC UNTIL IT WAS HUGE. AFTER HE DIED HIS SON PUBLISHED IT AND CALLED IT THE SILMARILLION. JRR YOU FUCKIN NERD
WAIT I’M NOT FUCKING DONE YET. TREEBEARD? BASED THE WAY HE TALKED OF HIS OLD FRIEND JACK WHO YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW AS CS LEWIS. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT NARNIA MOTHERFUCKER. WROTE HIM INTO LORD OF THE RINGS AKA THE SEQUEL TO THE SEQUEL OF HIS ORIGINAL FANFIC MASTERPIECE. CS LEWIS FUCKING HATED LORD OF THE RINGS. TOLKIEN FUCKING HATED NARNIA. BASICALLY THEY STARTED THE OXFORD PROFESSOR LIVEJOURNAL CLUB AND THEY FLAMED EACH OTHER’S SHIT RELENTLESSLY YET REMAINED BFFS
SHELOB? FUCKING TARANTULA BIT J-TIDDY ON THE FOOT WHEN HE WAS LIKE 3. WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS.
HIS AUNT’S HOUSE? NAMED BAG END. YEAH YOU GUESSED IT WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS
THIS FUCKING DORKUS SUPREME MADE UP HIS OWN LANGUAGE. WAIT NO IM WRONG. HE MADE UP LIKE 80 LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS AND ALPHABETS AND SHIT
BEST PART OF ALL?? HIS OWN LAST NAME, TOLKIEN, WAS DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN “TOLKHUN” MEANING “FOOLHARDY”. DOES THAT RING A BELL TO ANYONE FAMILIAR TO LORD OF THE RINGS??? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEREGRIN “PIPPIN” TOOK’S LIKE FUCKING CATCHPHRASE WAS “FOOL OF A TOOK”. TOLKIEN FIC’D HIS OWN FAMILIAL LINGUISTIC HISTORY INTO HIS WORK WHAT A DWEEB
IN 2008 HE RANKED 6TH ON A LIST OF THE TOP 50 BRITISH WRITERS SINCE 1945. HE WAS A PROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFFY SHIT AT OXFORD
AND JRR TOLKIEN WAS THE BIGGEST DWEEB EVER TO LIVE
WHO THE FUCK CENSORED MY GLORIOUS FUCKING RANT ON TOLKIEN
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE’S A VERSION FLOATING AROUND WITHOUT ALL MY SWEARS
THIS IS THE WORK OF MORGOTH I TELL YOU
(Source: the-peoples-of-middle-earth, via rowenabean)
|male game designer:||hey maybe we should treat women like people
|male gamer:||how could you say these things... i trusted you... i have lost a hero on this day
one time i was walking across the courtyard and some kids were clustered around where the seagulls always are and then this kid fuckin GRABBED ONE OUT OF THE AIR and i was literally so fucking amazed but all his friends were like “tyrone put that shit down” and “again tyrone?? really??” which is even better because it means he was a habitual seagull catcher
(Source: slayboybunny, via liamdryden)
1. First impression: rad sweater + beard
2. Truth is: rad sweater + beard is not a lie
3. How old do you look: old enough to have a rad beard
4. Have you ever made me laugh: yes
5. Have you ever made me mad: noo
6. Best feature: beard (I mean I actually haven’t seen you in a long time so I don’t know where your beard is at right now but it has been your best feature in the past)
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: yeap
8. You’re my: battlestar galactica watching buddy
9. Name in my phone: Tim Onnes (you get a last name because there are SO MANY TIMS)
1. First impression: mysterious and beautiful stranger
2. Truth is: I was going to say that actually you aren’t that mysterious but then I remembered that I keep on finding out things about you that blow my mind like that you sometimes play sports and wear denim shorts
3. How old do you look: ageless
4. Have you ever made me laugh: very often
5. Have you ever made me mad: low level grumpy
6. Best feature: fore-arms
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: yes that is a thing that happened
8. You’re my: pretty much the founder of my musical taste (I couldn’t figure out a way of starting that sentence with “you’re my”
9. Name in my phone: Harrison
1. First impression: small babby?
2. Truth is: you’re another of the 3 most important people
3. How old do you look: well people think we’re twins sometimes so
4. Have you ever made me laugh: probably literally an average of at least once for every day of my life
5. Have you ever made me mad: so mad
6. Best feature: very cute nose
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: hahaha
8. You’re my: style inspiration?
9. Name in my phone: spheee
1. First impression: I’ve been putting off answering this because I wanted to find a picture of me holding you when you were a babby but that is going to take too long so hi.
2. Truth is: you’re one of the 3 most important people in the world tbh
3. How old do you look: probably older than me
4. Have you ever made me laugh: countless times
5. Have you ever made me mad: also countless times
6. Best feature: you were one of the most photogenic children ever
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: haha
8. You’re my: big little sister
9. Name in my phone: rowena
10. Should you post this too? pffft this question is stupid and the next time I answer one of these I’m going to get rid of it. Do the thing if you want to do the thing.
Our first attempt at a Swedish fire log was a smashing success.
burns for hours and it looks beautiful.
I have no idea how you make a Swedish fire long
but i have a MIGHTY NEED for a Swedish fire log
It’s actually super easy and you see basically how in the picture: Just cut slits about like 3/4 down in a big (dry) log with a chainsaw. Then, just light it up on top with some smaller branches and whatever, the inside will catch fire, and it’ll burn for a long time. Great at outside events in the cold months.